Man Busted For Allegedly Poisoning His Girlfriend With Visine


ABC News – A California woman is recovering after police say she was poisoned when her boyfriend put Visine eye drops in her drink.

Shayne Carpenter, a 27-year-old mechanic, was arrested by the Nevada County Sheriff’s Office on Thursday in Grass Valley, Calif. and booked on poisoning and domestic violence charges. Police say after a fight with his girlfriend, Carpenter put eye drops in her drink causing her to feel ill.

Lt. Steve Tripp of the Nevada County Sheriff Department told ABC News affiliate KXTV News 10 that Carpenter’s girlfriend became suspicious after finding texts on Carpenter’s phone to his friends about the alleged prank gone wrong.

“He was making texts to his buddies that if ‘She’s going to be talking crap then she’s going to be crapping,'” Tripp said.

 

I love this story.  Its about damn time someone gets retribution on their girlfriend.  Chicks have no problem with giving us headaches and blue balls, but heaven forbid we make them a little sick and run to the bathroom.  Some chicks are just so full of shit that you have to help them out a bit.  Unfortunately, what this dude didn’t know was the consuming Visine doesn’t just make you shit, its actually poisonous to the human body.  Whoops.  Should have Googled that one, brother.  Next time you want to prank your annoying ass girlfriend just run to the store and pick up some laxative.  Then call her up and ask her sweetly if she would like a coffee from Dunkin Donuts.  When she replies, “why yes, honey” you then just slip some on that laxative into the coffee and let it do its job.  She’s now guaranteed to shut up and spend a few hours in the bathroom where you’ll be able to enjoy some alone time on a Sunday watching all the finest the sports world has to offer.  Remember though, she will be done in the bathroom at one point where she’ll then come lay on the couch with you and complain about how she doesn’t feel well.  Make the best out of those few minutes to an hour you have to yourself.  I Don’t Feel Well Girlfriend is the worst.

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