Friday night was spent out at bars, drinking with friends. I still hadn’t figured out a Grade A Friday for this week, but then a conversation came up. Carrie Underwood. I immediately let it be known that I would definitely, no questions asked, have consensual sex with Carrie Underwood. Or even nonconsensual sex if she decided she wanted to rape me. However, I’d never say no to her so it’d never be nonconsensual. Anyway, a Cooler Talk regular- and my dear friend, Jamie, agreed that Carrie was Grade A. I believe she even said she’d switch sides for her. That’s real talk, guys. She even said to find a lot of leg photos of her. However, my other buddy’s wife said that she hated her. I was flabbergasted. Thought it was the alcohol talking so I made her repeat herself just in case I hadn’t heard her right. Then she said it again…. she hated Carrie Underwood. The fuck are you talking about, you hate Carrie Underwood?!?! Holy shit. I hate a lot of people. Like a lot. But I could never hate Carrie Underwood. Ever. She’s one of 3 girls I’d cook, clean, pay the bills and give a ring to. Absolute doll. America’s sweetheart. With this, I knew Carrie had to be Grade A Friday this week. Had to. Had to.
PS, I’d like to thank Carrie for knowing she has fine legs and for constantly showing them off. That’s responsibility. I’m pretty sure her legs could give me a boner by themselves. I almost couldn’t finish this blog.
PSS, I didn’t want to degrade Carrie by posting pictures of her in her bikini, but let’s be realistic, Carrie in a bikini should not be hidden from the world.
PSSS, I hate this nerdy bro so much right now. Life ain’t fair, it just ain’t fair at all.