Scientists Want To Resurrect Extinct Animals From The Dead, But All They’re Considering Are Worthless Birds


The Journal – Last weekend at a TEDx conference in Washington DC sponsored by National Geographic, scientists met to discuss which animals should be brought back from extinction. They also discussed the how, why and ethics of doing so. They called it ‘de-extinction‘.

A cover story for this month’s National Geographic explains how de-extinction rests on a relatively simple premise: it involves taking old DNA samples, reassembling them into a full genome which is then injected into embryonic cells which have had their own DNA taken out, and then finding a suitable living surrogate to give birth.

The Washington Post reports that ten years ago, a team of scientists from France and Spain almost brought back an extinct wild goat – but it only lived for 10 minutes.  It raises a host of issues, including how scientists can get a good enough sample of DNA from the extinct animal – and whether or not they should.

There are a few guidelines for which ancient species are considered, and sadly, dinosaurs are so long dead they aren’t in the picture. Their DNA has long ago degraded, so researchers are fairly sure that Jurassic Park will never happen.

 

I’m not saying that we should try to bring back the dinosaurs or that its a shame that we can’t, but if we were ever going to bring back extinct creatures dinosaurs have to be #1.  I went to the dinosaur museum when I was in San Diego.  It was great.  It beat 95% of the times I’ve ever had sex.  Yeah, it was that good.  Dinosaurs were and still are, top notch shit.  There’s no point in bringing back anything else, really.  I don’t care about all of these birds and whatever.  I want dinos, sabertooth cats, woolly mammoths and mastodons.  I want the greatest of the great.  I want to be amazed when I go to these zoos.  Sure my life might be in danger, but sometimes that’s the price you have to pay when you try and act like Baby J and recreate history.  Keep your dumb birds dead and frozen in the back of the freezer, and get to bringing back shit that people would pay to see.  And don’t give me the “dinosaurs died to long ago to remake using their DNA.”  That’s a blatant lie right to my face.  I saw Jurassic Park.

Here are 22 of the 24 animals scientists are looking to bring back:

Carolina Parakeet           

Quagga                              

Moho                                                                                   

Dodo                                  

Thylacine                                    

Cuban Macaw                                                      

Smilidon                      

Pyrenean Ibex                                                   

Huia                                                                  

Passenger Pigeon            

Elephant Bird                    

Aurochs                              

Caribbean Monk Seal     

Moa                                    

Mastodon                          

Woolly Mammoth           

Great Auk                                                      

Imperial Woodpecker    

Ivory-Billed Woodpecker 

Heath Hen                                                    

Labrador Duck            

Dusky Seaside Sparrow                                                

10 0f the 22 animals are birds.  With 2 more- the Dodo and the Elephant, being considered.  That’s awful.  Get out of my face with that.  The Labrador ducks can take a hike, too.  We already have ducks and birds, we don’t need 200 million different variations.  You want to bring back a bird, bring back the Moa.  That shit is legit.  12-foot, 500 pound birds are something to see.  The Elephant Bird is basically an Ostrich so we don’t need that shit.  Keep it dead.  The Aurochs and the Caribbean Monk Seal are worthless too. An Auroch is cattle.  You see that shit on farms everyday.  And the only thing seals bring to the world are food for sharks and killer whales.  There’s a reason they’re extinct already.  They were all eaten.  That’s the way of the world.

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