Abner Canda’s Nookie For Chocolate Chip Cookie Scheme

abnercanda  2013_02_15_cookies

Huff Post – Abner Canda, 58, a guard at the Snohomish County Jail in Everett, Wash., is accused of giving a female inmate chocolate chip cookies in exchange for sexual favors, according to an affidavit obtained by The Smoking Gun. The 22-year-old woman, identified only as “C.D.”, came forward to law enforcement officials in January 2013. She told police that in May 2012, she “showed [Canda] my breasts, willingly for some food.” Then, on Nov. 19, she said, Canda “came into my room behind me and kissed me and touched my breasts and also put his hand down my pants and placed his finger inside of [my vagina.]” In January, she said, Canda performed oral sex on her. She also told police Canda gave her homemade chocolate chip cookies in return for the sexual favors. It is unclear if he gave her cookies after each act, or just one batch in January.

According to the affidavit, surveillance footage shows Canda and C.D. walking to the cell together on the Nov. 19. The woman told cops she was discussing the incidents because “I’m trying to change and be a better person now. I’m ashamed for my actions.” 

Investigators spoke with other female inmates, two of whom told them they also had sexual relations with the guard. One referred to herself as “dating” him. However, he is not currently facing charges related to those allegations, the Herald Net reported. Canda was charged Tuesday with custodial sexual misconduct, the Herald Net reported. He is currently facing charges only in connection with allegations made by C.D., not the other female inmates.


I always joke about how all I give a chick is hard dick and a happy meal, but Abner took that to a whole new level. All kinds of dudes become desperate and basically fund a relationship with a chick.  Everything from her bills down to her wardrobe.  But paying an inmate for sexual favors with chocolate chip cookies is a different ball game. This is a new breed of desperation.  Have you seen women inmates?  Going out of your way to sex them is mind blowing.  I wouldn’t fuck 99% with a stranger’s dick never mind my own.  Closest payment a chick is getting from me for sex is dinner and a movie.  Or drinks.  I’m not slaving away at an oven getting my Betty Crocker on so that I can perform oral sex on the broad.  An inmate broad nonetheless.  Cant imagine her shit is top notch at this point. I hope for heaven’s sake she blew him a few times.  Otherwise C.D. made out like a bandit.  If I were her I would’ve kept my yapper shut.  Free head and chocolate chip cookies while behind bars.  Don’t get much better.  Well, besides free head and chocolate chip cookies from the free world outside of jail.  That’s better.  A lot better.  And a lot safer.




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