Daily Mail – Darius Olewski, 49, was on the run for dodging tens of thousands of pounds in child maintenance payments. To make a quick escape if police came knocking at his door, he dug a 6ft deep hole under a table in the hallway of his home in Pruszkow, Poland, and covered it with a panel to match the rest of the wooden floor. But when officers raided the home and found it empty, they were surprised when they heard a stifled sneeze.
‘At first we couldn’t work out where it came from’, said one officer. ‘Then we heard another one and realized it was coming from right under our feet. After a bit of tapping and testing we found a hollow spot and he was down there covered in cobwebs. Maybe if he’d dusted more often he’d still be on the run.’
I bet you Darius was an absolute boss at hide-and-go-seek as a child. Sure he probably sneezed a few times giving away his location, but who hasn’t. I can remember hiding under a trailer one time in the middle of winter, trying to hold back every cough I had so I wouldn’t be seen or heard. Its a true struggle. Normal kids hide in closets, under beds, and behind furniture. All that typical shit. But not Darius. Darius builds his hiding spots. He digs out 6-foot tunnels under buildings and just creeps down there. His friends probably hated him. He never got caught, and always made it back to base safely. A tunnel underneath a bookshelf that leads to a hideout under your home is putting hide-and-seek on a whole new map. Its genius. Darius is genius. I feel like the cops shouldn’t have even punished him after all of this. If you go through that much work to not be caught and they accidentally find you because you sneezed twice, and you have cobwebs covering you, then your hand should be shook and everyone should go back to business as usual. Fuck the kid and child support. This is a story you can tell the world. And maybe, just maybe if the kid grows up to be as smart as his dad, he can thank him for his genes. Having money isn’t everything in this world, junior. If anything it’s a curse that just keeps poisoning society. We could all learn something from Darius. Life is joyous, and you’re never too old for a good game of hide-and-seek. Even if it involves law enforcement looking for tens of thousands of dollars that you owe in back child support.