I saw this guy on TV Friday night and meant to blog it yesterday, but failed miserably. I must have choked about a dozen times while watching this. Not sure how he does it. Or how he even realized he could swallow a whole hot dog. Like when are you like, ‘hey I bet you I can just take this who thing like it were an Advil or an M&M? Now if this were a chick I’d be like, ‘yeah, that’s an easy conclusion to make.’ A chick knows by senior year whether she can swallow a hot dog. Shit, I know chicks who knew way earlier than that. 14 is like the new 18 nowadays.
But somehow this guy realized at one point he could swallow a hot dog. Whatever. But then he realized he could swallow many of them. Chewing must get you tired because I struggle with eating 2 hot dogs. Then I see this guy swallowing 10 in 1-minute and he’s just calm and cool afterwards wondering how many he swallowed because he swallowed so many he lost count. Real hardo move, bruh. Fuck. Imagine how much time we’d save by just swallowing our food and not chewing? Chewing literally ruins our lives. We sleeping a third of our lives and I bet we chew for another third. Now, if my math serves me well that leaves us with one more third left to enjoy life. This hot dog swallow is enjoying two-thirds of his life. Kind of pisses me off. I think I’m going to practice this talent. I might start with M&Ms, Skittles, Reese’s Pieces, corn, cranberry sauce, and maybe, maybe grapes. But thats going to be the extend of my diet. Kind of unhealthy for some, but it’ll leave me more golf time, tv time and time for sleeping so the trade off is acceptable.
You fools keep chewing your food, working and sleeping. Hope you enjoy the 15-minutes of fun time you have each day. I’ll be on the golf course swallowing candy just taking life by the horns.