Jesus Drops $1K At The Strip Club, Then Tells Police He Was Robbed For The Money By 6 Men At Gunpoint


Huff Post – It’s hard for a lot of guys to admit to their wives that went to a strip club, let alone spending $1,000 on the attractions.

Jesus Mata Jr., a 21-year-old from Texas, recently received a tax refund and decided to spend it at a strip bar called Whispers in La Feria. After he spent all the cash, he concocted a titillating tale to police about how six gunmen in two truck robbed him at gunpoint with assault weapons, reported.

Investigators from the Cameron County Sheriff’s Department and the Harlingen Police Department tried to track down the trucks, but got suspicious when no leads emerged, reported. When the detectives again questioned Mata, he admitted making up the story to hide the fact he blew the whole $1,000 wad, NewsFix reported. Mata was arrested and charged with filing a false report, according to KWTX-TV.

No word yet on how he will be punished . . . by his wife.


I feel for Jesus.  Its hard out here being a man when you have to deal with a girlfriend or wife.  Chicks are always hounding dudes about how they don’t love them enough or that they don’t show it enough, and then when they do they get arrested for it.  Then chicks get on their dudes about how they spend their own money.  Chicks are always thinking their money is their money, but dudes money is also their money.  Double standard like you’d read about.  So yeah, when we come into a little bit of mula from our tax return, we want to have fun with it.  Can’t let the wifey know though.  Nope, nope, nope.  The Indians down at the casino take your last grand, or Keno is a bitch one weekend, and you’re left scrounging your brain and your buddy’s brains for the best possible story.  Jesus went with robbed at gunpoint.  Pretty good for a first-timer I guess.  He just left out the fact that he needed a description and police would be on the lookout for these folk.  Oh, and that you never, eevverrr, admit that you lied.  To the death, bro.  To the death.  Make those policia search for the rest of their lives if they have to.  Tell them you don’t even care if they catch the guys because its not like they’re going to pay you back.  Tell them you’re only reporting it because your wife is a greedy bitch and she’s making you.  Play this shit out like a pimp.  Houston is full of criminals that could have taken the heat for this.  And its not like it would’ve been your fault.  It would’ve been Mrs. Mata’s.  She’s’ the one who wants all your money.  She would’ve had to deal with the repercussions of such a lie.  Baby J would’ve realized that.  He wouldn’t have judged you the day you two met.  He would have looked you square in the eye and said, “Jesus, my son, I’m sorry I put you in the predicament. But you handed it like a true and nobel being. I bless you my child.”  And boom, Baby J blesses you and you live happily ever after in a white, sunny atmosphere where everyone is happy, unicorns roam freely, and there’s all the gumdrops you can eat. Gumdrops, lollipops and rainbows.


T-Pain said it best..


One thought on “Jesus Drops $1K At The Strip Club, Then Tells Police He Was Robbed For The Money By 6 Men At Gunpoint

  1. Pingback: A Brooklyn Man Who Too Afraid To Explain His Whereabouts To His Girlfriend So He Faked His Own Kidnapping | Water Cooler Talk


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