Pretty sad when a pet monkey can do more push-ups and sit-ups than his owner can. How do you even teach a monkey that shit? That’s my question. I have a cat that sleeps 21 hours a day, begs for food for 2 hours and 45 minutes a day, and then eats for 15 minutes a day. That’s his life. If you tried showing him a push-up he’d walk right by you to his food dish. If you attempted a sit-up, he’s curling up on a blanket and passing out. He’s the laziest thing I know, and I know myself. Kind of a bad life, Oreo. His only exercise is when he thinks he’s getting fed, he sprints from wherever he is all the way to his feeding area. That’s at least 15 times a day. My next pet has to, and will be a workout warrior like this. You can bet we’ll both be on the juice too. King Kong ain’t gonna have shit on my dude, Tarzan. Yeah that’s right, my monkey’s name is going to be Tarzan. Easily the best monkey name. No competition, really.