Why Hasn’t Anyone Thought About Chocolate Toothpaste Before?

ABC – A discovery in a New Orleans laboratory nearly three decades ago is changing oral care across the nation and the world. The substance was discovered in Louisiana, and the company remains headquartered in New Orleans.

That substance is now available for you in a new toothpaste called “Theodent.” It contains that substance found several decades ago and has been proven in clinical trials to strengthen teeth and regenerate enamel. That’s been virtually unheard of, until now. 

Doctor Tetsuo Nakamoto, the father of News 2’s Chris Nakamoto, found “Theobromine” in chocolate in the early 80s. Since then, he worked to get a patent and put that substance into a toothpaste. “Theodent is a fluoride free toothpaste,” Theodent CEO, Dr. Arman Sadeghpour said. “Rennou, our active ingredient works better to re-mineralize the surface of human teeth.”

“Theodent is a fluoride free toothpaste,” Theodent CEO, Dr. Arman Sadeghpour said. “Rennou, our active ingredient works better to re-mineralize the surface of human teeth.” “Normal unit crystals in teeth are half a micron in size,” Sadeghpour said. “When Rennou is present, it stimulates those crystals to become two microns in size.”

Clinical trials show the positive effects of Rennou on a tooth. The substance is safe for children to swallow because it is a derivative of chocolate and is all natural.


I bet everyone’s like, ‘ugh, that’s gross.  Chocolate toothpaste totally defeats the whole purpose of brushing your teeth.’  And you’d be an idiot.  Chocolate toothpaste is what we all need.  When’s the last time you brushed your teeth and you were like, mmm, this shit tastes really good?  The answer is absolutely never.  Toothpaste is disgusting.  We brush our teeth so the opposite sex will kiss us and because otherwise they’ll rot and fall out.  No good.  We don’t brush because we like the taste.  If I had chocolate toothpaste I’d want to brush my teeth 5 times a day.  I’d be bored and just go take out my toothbrush and get to work.  Kids would no longer fight their parents.  They’d all think it was just dessert.  Theodent is revolutionizing the game as we know it.  The best part about it is that it looks like regular toothpaste so it won’t look like you’re brushing your teeth with shit.  A+ thinking on their part.  Nobody wants to look like they’re smearing shit around their teeth no matter how good it tastes.  It doesn’t really solve the problem of dropping toothpaste on your shirt and having it look like cum an hour later, but guess we’ll deal with that later on down the road.  Beggars can’t be choosers.  Can’t have every problem solved at once.

PS, I know its because of theobromine, but you think its coincidental that a black name like Theo was added to ‘dent’ to create a chocolate toothpaste?  I think not.  Which is another reason you and I need this toothpaste.  To add diversity to the toothpaste game and to prove we’re not all racists.  Go here, and get yourself a tube.

PSS, $109.99 for toothpaste isn’t crazy.  I just wanted to make sure everyone knew that.



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