Turns Out Being Jewish And Gay Is Worse Than Thinking Burgers Are Kosher

Nate has a dilemma: Purim is coming, and the other boys in his Hebrew school class are all going to dress as superheroes, but Nate wants to be an alien. What to do? With the help of his Daddy and Abba, Nate figures out a solution that delights everyone. And his story, The Purim Superhero, draws connections between his problem, the message of the holiday, and the process of coming out.

“Abba?” Nate asked. “Do you ever just want to be like everybody else?”

Abba looked at Nate. “You know the Purim story,” Abba said. “Queen Esther saved the Jews because she didn’t hide who she was. She told King Ahashuerus she was Jewish, and that her people were in danger.

“Sometimes showing who you really are makes you stronger, even if you’re different from other people.”

Predictably, certain Jews are having conniptions about a children’s book that includes gay parents and themes. “Disgraceful,” wrote a commenter on the Times of Israel’s feature about the book. Another wrote, “You may as well have a ‘Jewish’ book about how cheeseburgers and lobster are super kosher.” A third posited, “Judgement [sic] is coming.”


The gays can’t catch any love from anyone except each other. The Catholics hate them. The Christians hate them. The Jews hate them. Even the blacks hate them and the blacks are fighting their own kind of hate. I kind of feel bad for the gays. All they want to do is love and no one will let them. It’s even got as bad as to have a writer compare being Jewish and gay to calling hamburgers kosher. I mean that’s pretty fucking bad. And to be honest, I never knew Jews hated gays. I thought that was designated for the Christians. Seems there’s enough room for everyone though. I refuse to hate the gays. They’re not ruining our country or the sanctity of marriage. In fact, they’d probably make it better.

In nowadays society there is no such thing as the sanctity of marriage. Over half of marriages end in divorce. If gays want to be involved in spending thousands upon thousands of dollars to wed, only to spend a couple thousand more later on to divorce, then who are we to deprive them of that experience? Let them spend $60,000 on invitations, a venue, flowers, music, food, decorations, a priest/justice of the peace, and rings. Our economy is in dire need of some disposable income. The gays want to dispose, let them dispose. Their family is no different than yours and mine. People are going to go to the wedding; Some will be thrilled, some wont care and the rest will be depressed because they have no one to love them. But everyone will be there for the open bar. Because everyone knows a wedding isn’t a wedding without an open bar. Which is why I’ve never been to a real wedding. Only matrimony ceremonies that require me to fork over $6.50 for a White Russian. If gays agree to hold an open bar at every one of their weddings and invite me, I’ll march with rainbows at every single picket they have.



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