Are you always wasting money on your wife/girlfriend’s Valentine’s Day gifts? Do you buy them expensive jewelry to never see them wear it? Do the $100 roses you buy die in a week? Does the chocolate make them fat and then you have to hear about how fat the chocolate made them? Well then start doing Valentine’s Day right and get them some shit that is rather inexpensive, something that won’t make them fat, and something they will use everyday. That’d be dish soap, a can of starch, rubber cleaning gloves, a beer for yourself, her old cookbook and a card with some XBox points on it. Cut the monster down right at the knees.
Here’s the whole Jimmy Kimmel: I Gave My Wife/Girlfriend A Terrible Gift For Valentine’s Day..
Fuckin’ snakes, mice, lizards, kidney stones have nothing on the Kitchen Supplies Valentine. Easily the best one submitted.