What do you do when your best friend and his girlfriend are fighting because of you? Well you fix that shit like Dr. Phil. And that’s exactly what the Sports Reporter did last night. He swept into action and he righted the wrong, and saved the world. I’m going to keep most of it in-house but here’s a quick run down of the events. I tell my boy to get a Twitter. Yeah, I know, totally squid and he should have already had one. But thats neither here nor there now. I’m explaining to him how its run. How its heads over heels better than Facebook. So he finally downloads the app and creates an account. Well, his girlfriend comes home and is none too please about this. Apparently she really loves Facebook and doesn’t want to see people leave it for Twitter. Twitter to her is ‘hoe shit.’ I get to telling her that Twitter is like you’re first born child, there’s nothing better than it. She again says its ‘hoe shit.’
So what does the Sports Reporter do? I put on my thinking cap and told her, ‘Im making you a Twitter right meow.’ I then got to asking her email address, which she would not give up. I even threatened to create a fake email just to create a Twitter for her. Thats when my boy swooped in with the kill- her email. Game over after that. I got to Twitter, entered all her info, stole a picture off her Facebook and started having her follow all her favorites in life. Animals, Sean Paul, Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj and OMG! Animal Facts. I even decorated it pink. At this point her life had been turned upside down. What she once believed to be evil, is now glowing like an angel. I’m willing to bet that right now she’s probably stalking so many celebrities its possible she could be arrested.
Here’s a run down of our conversation..
This is just a quick synopsis. The full version was probably the most fun I’ve had since golf season. Needless to say, my friend Amy is new to Twitter and needs some followers. I was told, ‘She’s the type to slap you if you eat her pork fried rice, and she’s an angry eater. She has no idea why its called a handle if you don’t hold it and she’s not down for hoe ass shit.’ Follow this charm, @FreeBird616.