Dustin Johnson Pairs With Wayne Gretzky… His Whorish Girlfriend’s Dad

Golf.com – Dustin Johnson, who won the season-opening Hyundai TOC with the comely Paulina Gretzky in his gallery [right], and who has been all over Twitter with Paulina ever since, will be paired with her father, the former hockey great Wayne Gretzky, in this week’s AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am.

The pairing is among several intriguing pro-am combos at this week’s tournament, among them Jason Day and San Francisco 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh, and Robert Garrigus and pitcher Justin Verlander.


It’s not even a question that if this was my life- real life, this would go horribly wrong.  Dads know when their daughters are whores so imagine if you’re one of the most recognized sports athletes of all-time and you have to be constantly reminded about it via the internet, twitter and instagram.  Then imagine you have to play golf with the guy for four days.  Now imagine being the dude dating the daughter.  You know he knows you’re banging his daughter.  You know he’s not fond of that.  Everyone bangs his daughter.  And those who haven’t, want to.  Dads hate to think that someone is banging their daughter.  Reason numero uno why I don’t EVER want a daughter.  There’s no way of getting around this awkward pairing.  The one thing you have in common is the daughter, Paulina and that you’ve both seen her naked- for differing reasons.

The first time Wayne yells “get in the hole!” during the tournament and Dustin retorts “that’s not the first Gretzky I’ve heard say that.” there’s going to be an all out brawl.  And there isn’t anything tougher than a dad defending his daughter, except maybe an ex-hockey player defending his daughter.  We all know hockey players are the toughest people ever.


This is a no brain suicide image for any dad…




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