When Chicks Can Go On TV Without Caring About Their Hair, That’s When You Know They’ve Hit An All-Time Low


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Hey sweetheart, its not 1983 anymore.  That hairstyle is out.  Has been out.  And should continue to be out.  Its frizzy and unkept.  And the coloring sucks.  I now know why ESPN keeps you on ESPNU reporting for Signing Day and doesnt put you on national, mainstream TV like ESPN and ESPN2.  Pretty folk get major air-time, ugly folk get assigned reporting duties for high-school commits on a channel aired on the internet.  Gotta hide the ugly, sweetie.  I dont make the rules, I just follow them.

PS, Its a shame they let you look like this today, Cara.  You’re actually not that bad looking for however old you are. (The internet wont allow me to know.)  You should fire their stylist and go back to this look.  Its basically the same, just better.  If that makes any sense.

PSS, I saw this chick while watching the signings for Signing Day on my computer 4-hours ago and screenshot my computer to capture her image.  Ignored the need to remember her name until about a half hour ago.  I was stuck.  Google didnt help me.  ESPN couldnt help me.  Wikipedia was useless.  I was fucked.  Thats when my head clicked and I decided to return to ESPNU in hopes that they’d show her once again.  And they did.  It only took about the entire half hour of watching before they decided to get a report from Florida, where it just show happened Cara was reporting.  Fuckin’ made my day.  Now I can get back to watching Stephen A and my BFF Skip on First Take.

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