Guy Puts Cat On Full Notice Of Who Runs The House


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Daily Mail – A Florida woman, who suspected her roommate of using her things, discovered him torturing her cat after hiding a secret camera in her bedroom, according to police. 

Alanna Jenkins bought a secret camera disguised as an alarm clock to try and catch her roommate, Jordan Scott Bean, 25, going into her room while she was working. But rather than just moving her belongings around or using them, she actually discovered something much worse – he was allegedly beating her 2-year-old cat.

According to the arrest report, officers claim the footage shows Bean wrapping the cat called Chompers in a towel, choking and shaking her.

‘I thought he was just going through my stuff or doing something that he shouldn’t be doing,’ Ms Jenkins told Inside Edition.

‘I saw him violently abusing my cat,’ she claims. ‘He would wrap her up in my blanket and cover her face and he would strangle her, get on top of her and choke her’.

Big time news here: “Man re-enacts WWE’s The Rock vs CM Punk.  Cat gets choked and body slammed.  Cat wins on a disqualification.”  Kind of bullshit if you ask me.  Cats will treat you like a bitch if you let them.  We have a cat that punks out the entire household.  Meows, moan, stalks, and does laps around the house until hes fed.  Dude has unlimited determination too.  No less than 6 times a day will he try to pull this move.  And thats only because no one has power bombed him through a queen sized mattress.  For sure he’d lighten up a bit if so.  I bet Chompers doesnt even ask for food more than 3 times a week.  Wont even bother bringing up clean water.  He’s probably just glad the bowl is full.  And dont even talk about a clean cat box.  He just maneuvers his shit around until his owner has free time.  Chompers doesnt care.

Of course I know that everyone reading is like, “But Sports Reporter, cats are creatures too.  They should be treated with respect.”  And you’d be absolutely correct.  For the most part.  Did you know that if you run over a cat with your car, legally you dont have to do anything? Unlike when you hit a dog, where you have to call the police and report the accident.  Not with cats though.  You can just smash and dash.  I learned that from my sister driving instructor.  Wise man.

This chick needs to get a grip.  If you cant take watching your cat get beat up on tape, then I suggest you stop watching the tape.  Simple solution to that problem.  I dont go watching surgical videos and then complain about how nauseating they make me after I threw up.  I thought that was just common knowledge.

And If you dont think these two were fuck buddies youre out of your damn mind.  No dude and chick are just “roommates.”  While they may in fact be splitting everything down the middle, theyre also fucking.  100%.  No doubter.  Jordan was finally fed up with Chompers stealing all his time with Alanna.  Leaving Jordan to react.  Therefore, I blame Alanna for having poor choice in dudes.  Chompers should be suing her for putting his life in danger.  Its a guaranteed liability suit.  Cats winning 11 out of 10 times.

PS, Fuckin’ cats really do have 9 lives.  Damn.



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