4-Year-Old Goes To The Dentist.. Comes Home With A Redneck Makeover


Daily Mail – A four-year-old girl has been left with stainless-steel crowns on every single one of her teeth after she made a recent trip to the dentist. 

Savannah White was left with a mouth full of metal after she went in for a routine procedure on four cavities, her mother Alecia said on Monday. 

Mrs White brought her daughter to a dentist’s surgery in Phoenix, Arizona and stayed with her until she was sedated before leaving for the waiting room.   

Mrs White brought her daughter home and when the child had woken up from a nap, she was horrified to look inside her mouth which had been coated in metal. 

The dentist’s handiwork left the unfortunate little girl with the appearance of Bond villain Jaws, one of the 007’s most famous nemeses, played by Richard Kiel, from movies The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker.

The mother, who also has a son called Zach, said that she was embarrassed by what the dentist, who has not been identified, did to her daughter. She added that the dental work made Savannah unhappy with her appearance.

Im going to start straight off the bat and call bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Ive never had a crown, but Ive had 4 cavities, resulting in 4 fillings. Not once did the dentist offer to do all 4 at one sitting. Too much work on him, and too much stress on the patients body. Plus, a filling roughly takes 20-30 minutes. Thats being safe. Therefore Im guessing its roughly the same time. So times that by 26 teeth and you have anywhere from 8 hours to 13 hours of sit down time for your teeth. Now, either this dentist is the world’s worst, but yet fastest dentist, or the child made multiple appointments. That means the mother was aware of her child’s teeth and actually wanted it to happen.

Lets just say on the off chance dentist does whip out 26 fillings in an hour or so. Record time by the way. Like 2 minutes a tooth. Anyways, why did the mother leave her 4-year-old solo?!I can see 10 or 11, but 4? On top of that, after the procedure is done youre not going to look in your daughter’s mouth? Just gonna go home without double checking the merchandise? I dont drive away from McDonald’s without checking my order first and this lady and just letting her daughter’s teeth look like she chews on BBs. Way to point out the obvious too, “Oh, little Savannah is very unhappy with her dental work. It makes her self-conscious.” Good luck finding a boyfriend in 10-years, Savannah. You might want to go the Manti Te’o route, and just have one made up to save you from even more ridicule.

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Nice job, ma. You made your little girl look like something out of an Alabama trailer park. She could give Honey Boo Boo a run for her money with that smile. Jesus Christ, mace me in the eyes.

UPDATE: Google says a crown takes anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour a tooth. And that it requires more than one visit because you have to have mold impressions done of your teeth. There you have it. Sports Reporter analyzing the shit out of another headline. I should have been a lawyer.

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