Hawaiians Are Loyal To Death Even If It Involves A Fake Death

Bleacher Report – Arizona Cardinals fullback Reagan Mauia claims that he met Lennay Kekua and actually knew her pretty well, after “he met her in person when he and other Polynesian teammates and Pittsburgh Steelers star Troy Polamalu went to do charity work in American Samoa in June 2011.”

He went on to say this:

“This was before her and Manti,” Mauia said Wednesday evening. “I don’t think Manti was even in the picture, but she and I became good friends. We would talk off and on, just checking up on each other kind of thing. I am close to her family. When she was going through the loss of her father, I was — I offered a comforting shoulder and just someone to bounce her emotions off. That was just from meeting her in Samoa.”

Mauia said Tuiasosopo — whom Mauia believes is Kekua’s cousin — introduced the two. After the initial meeting, Mauia said he met her at an “after-party” for all of the athletes involved in the camp.

“She was tall,” he said. “Volleyball-type of physique. She was athletic, tall, beautiful. Long hair. Polynesian. She looked like a model … “

He said it is his understanding that Kekua’s mother is operating her Twitter account. He said he’d never met her mother. When told by a reporter that she apparently might not have existed, Mauia said: “No, she is real.”

Te’o has released a statement concerning these recent developments, and he is maintaining full innocence and naivety when it comes to his role in the recent allegations concerning his girlfriend.

Here’s a look at what he had to say, courtesy of this ESPN report:

“This is incredibly embarrassing to talk about, but over an extended period of time, I developed an emotional relationship with a woman I met online. We maintained what I thought to be an authentic relationship by communicating frequently online and on the phone, and I grew to care deeply about her.”

“To realize that I was the victim of what was apparently someone’s sick joke and constant lies was, and is, painful and humiliating.”

“It further pains me that the grief I felt and the sympathies expressed to me at the time of my grandmother’s death in September were in any way deepened by what I believed to be another significant loss in my life.”

He goes on to add:

“I am enormously grateful for the support of my family, friends and Notre Dame fans throughout this year. To think that I shared with them my happiness about my relationship and details that I thought to be true about her just makes me sick. I hope that people can understand how trying and confusing this whole experience has been.”

“In retrospect, I obviously should have been much more cautious. If anything good comes of this, I hope it is that others will be far more guarded when they engage with people online than I was.”

“Fortunately, I have many wonderful things in my life, and I’m looking forward to putting this painful experience behind me as I focus on preparing for the NFL Draft.”

The University of Notre Dame has released a statement on Facebook concerning the incident surrounding Manti Te’o’s girlfriend. If you missed it, here it is in its entirety:

On. Dec. 26, Notre Dame coaches were informed by Manti Te’o and his parents that Manti had been the victim of what appears to be a hoax in which someone using the fictitious name Lennay Kekua apparently ingratiated herself with Manti and then conspired with others to lead him to believe she had tragically died of leukemia. The University immediately initiated an investigation to assist Manti and his family in discovering the motive for and nature of this hoax. While the proper authorities will continue to investigate this troubling matter, this appears to be, at a minimum, a sad and very cruel deception to entertain its perpetrators.

The evidence doesn’t get any friendlier:

Nor is there any report of a severe auto accident involving a Lennay Kekua. Background checks turn up nothing. The Stanford registrar’s office has no record that a Lennay Kekua ever enrolled. There is no record of her birth in the news. Outside of a few Twitter and Instagram accounts, there’s noonline evidence that Lennay Kekua ever existed.

Universal couldnt write such a fucked up script. Te’o says he never met Lennay, just that they talked every night on the phone and over the internet; The school says he was duped like some Catfish episode; And now Reagan Mauia- who sounds like he has a crush on the imaginary woman- says that she is in fact real and that he has met her. That shes Marquis Tuiasosopo’s cousin and that shes as gorgeous as a model.

I dont know what to believe. Other then theres some fucked up shit going on between these Hawaiians. I always thought Hawaii was some magical beautiful place where you drank tropical smoothies with umbrella decorations while laying on a beach where some dude’s playing the ukulele. But its not. Apparently Hawaii breeds fuckin’ whack jobs. Before today I thought it didnt get any worse than southern redneck stupidity, but now thats all come into question. Its like my world has been tossed upside down.

If you need the perfect best friend, pick a Hawaiian. They might eat some weird shit, or have some weird laws like you’ll be fined for not owning a boat, or that you cant appear in public wearing only swimming trunks, or put coins in your ears, or own a mongoose without a permit, but they’ll have you back no matter what. Even if you create a fake girlfriend, fake give her an illness, and fake kill her via that illness.

PS, My guess is this whole story developed because Te’o had a shitty opening line for his Tinder matches. Chicks dont want to hear “Hey”, “Whats up?’ or “Wanna get together sometime?” You have to come correct. Throw out a “If you could have one super power, what would it be?” or “How fast can you run a mile?” You find out their personality type and creativity with the super power question, and you find out their athletic ability with the mile question. Badda bing, badda boom, The Sports Reporter just mastering the Tinder game.

PSS, If this is really Lennay Kekua she is/was a Grade A. No doubt about it. If I were gonna fake girlfriend-it she’s exactly the girl I’d create. RIP Lennay Ke.


One thought on “Hawaiians Are Loyal To Death Even If It Involves A Fake Death

  1. Pingback: It Only Took A Day, But Nev Schulman Has Found The Man Who Joked About Manti Te’o’s ‘Dead Girlfriend’ And Bragged That He Was Behind Her Twitter Profile |


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