A Fake Girlfriend Is The Best Kind Of Girlfriend


fake_girlfriend

NY Times – Manti Te’o, Notre Dame’s star linebacker, was one of the feel-good stories of the 2012 college football season, excelling on the field despite the deaths of his grandmother and his girlfriend, he said, within hours of each other.

Manti Te’o was the runner-up for the Heisman Trophy and led Notre Dame to an unexpected berth in the Bowl Championship Series title game.

On Wednesday, that story fell apart when the Web site Deadspin published an article saying that Te’o’s girlfriend never existed.

Notre Dame said in a statement that Te’o was the victim of “what appears to be a hoax in which someone using the fictitious name Lennay Kekua apparently ingratiated herself with Manti and then conspired with others to lead him to believe she had tragically died of leukemia.”

Te’o released his own statement, saying he was the target “of what was apparently someone’s sick joke and constant lies,” calling the situation “painful and humiliating.”

 

Remember those kids in high school who told you they had a girlfriend but they went to a different school? Then every time you all tried making plans they said “she was busy with family” or “she was hanging with her friends”? Well multiple that by a thousand percent and you have Manti Te’o. Creating a fake girlfriend, then faking your fake girlfriend’s death is so preposterous that it might just be genius.

Like just think of how great you could make your fake girlfriend. Your real chick hates football? Fake girlfriend loves it. Real girlfriend nags the shit out of you? Fake girlfriend never talks. She never complains about bad sex, or the sex not lasting long enough. Your dick is the perfect size. And you eat her like a champ. Just think how great that’d be. Your confidence would be sky high. All you need is a real chick that’ll put out to you and you then having the greatest relationship. You get the benefits of sex, and you get all the happiness of having the perfect girlfriend personality… a none existent one.

With my track record I attract the crazy broads, not ashamed to say. It’s my calling card; I’m proud of it. I could make the craziest girlfriend around. People would be like what the fuck? She’s a whack job. Sexy as fuck, but a whack job nonetheless. Only thing about it is I wouldn’t have to go through the real-life drama. None of the: “Where were you?” “Who was that?” “I know that’s not your mom who called you even though the call ID says Ma.” “I think you’re fucking that girl from the west coast.” “All my other boyfriends cheated so that means you are.” Literally all the shit that makes honest guys want to go Jovan Belcher.

I think officials need to look into this and make sure Te’o’s fake girlfriend wasnt questioning the shit out of him about his whereabouts during the BCS Natuonal Championship game. She was probably like “I know you were fucking some bitch, Monday, January 7th, because you sure as hell werent playing football. Notre Dame lost 42-14. That shit doesn’t happen when you play.” When it actuality he was playing. He just wasnt trying to tackle the opponent. He was so distraught with her attitude towards him that he was running around the field attempting to hug her.

Manti Te’o… just Catfishing the shit out of the general public…

manti_te_o__playing_through_tremendous_adversity__hd_-1

Teo Teo2

Advertisements

Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s