Butt Glue, Tape, And Miss America Contestants


Huff Po – What goes into creating the pageant-perfect facade?

Butt glue. And a Home Depot’s worth of tape, of both the Scotch and duct variety.

This year’s Miss America hopefuls cheerfully admitted these secret weapons and more in a behind-the-scenes video series for Live Well Network called “Miss America: Secrets Revealed.” Talking backstage, Miss Alabama reveals that Scotch tape is perfect for removing unwanted eyeshadow; Miss Virgin Islands swears by flexi rods over a traditional curling iron; and Miss Arizona teases, “I like to incorporate duct tape into a lot of my activities for Miss America.”

But tape is for wusses. Miss West Virginia knows that for a serious competitor, butt glue is where it’s at. “I know a trick to actually pull up your behind,” the Southern belle tells Live Well Network’s Rebecca Spera. “There’s a way to tuck it in your bathing suit so everything’s all nice and firm.” Applying the butt glue, she says, is an art.

 

There you have it. Chicks will literally do anything to look hot and win Miss America. From using scotch tape and duct tape on their face, to using glue to make their flat asses look firm and pushed up. Gotta hand it to them though. Guys could give two shits about their appearance most of the time. Of course we’ll dress up, do our hair and shave, but we’re not going to go the extra mile like they are. Too lazy for that. Hell, most of us refuse to cook for ourselves and cant recover from the common cold unless we have help. We’d literally rather die on the couch of dehydration and hunger than get up and fend for ourselves. I’m the perfect example. I’ll sit their starving my ass off, but I’ll come to the conclusion that getting up and going the extra mile for myself just isnt worth it. Thats why cereal is a main staple of my diet. Meanwhile chicks are shopping at Home Depot and Lowe’s for beauty supplies so they can win a competition of who looks the hottest. Men are from Mars, chicks are from Venus.

 

PS, I’m in love with Miss South Carolina

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