5-Hour Energy Wants You To Believe You Can Complete Your Whole Life In 5-Hours As Long As You Drink Their Product

This guy makes me hate him, 5-Hour Energy and life so much. Claiming one 5-Hour Energy drink can make you golf, read a book, learn the guitar, run 10 miles, knit a sweater, parachute, become a ping pong legend and record an album all within the 5-Hour timeframe. Does he not realize that 5-Hour Energy doesn’t slow down time? I’ve had a 5-Hour Energy- didn’t really do that much too me. I play golf. You’re luck to get 9 holes done in under an hour and a half. Then you add running 10 miles to that and you’re lucky to be done both in three and a half hours. And that’s if he runs at 5 miles an hour. So we’re at three and a half hours, and that’s hauling ass. Then that leaves him to read an entire book, learn the guitar, become a ping pong legend, parachute from a plane, knit a sweater, and record an album in an hour and a half. He’ll be lucky to finish the book in that time. Let’s face it, 5-Hour Energy is lying their balls off. Stop trying to make me feel lazy because I sit here blogging, watching TV and attending college for 3 or so hours a day while drinking chocolate milk instead. This is my life. Let me know if you ever do figure out how to slow down time though, because I’ll make sure to drink 4-5 of your drinks on Saturdays and Sundays. Every weekend will be a long weekend to me.


8 thoughts on “5-Hour Energy Wants You To Believe You Can Complete Your Whole Life In 5-Hours As Long As You Drink Their Product

  1. Your fucking stupid dude . Its a commercial ! Its suppose to make you laugh . Its not suppose to be pratical . Its an energy commercial, i mean i dont know how to more clearly explain it . Would you rather hear about a guy running for 3 hrs and starting a book ? Or would you rather watch this funny commercial ? Nobody wants to hear boring crap . The commercial is just showing that he got a boost of energy from the shot . Probably making him feel like he could do anything you asshole

  2. You definitely didn’t get the joke. I love that commercial. It may be low budget and poorly acted, but I crack up every time I see him running while knitting a sweater.

  3. It’s a commercial it’s suppose to be comedy. U have to be ignorant to take it literal like that. Are u that much a loser u take time out to bash a stupid ad. Take it for what it is dumbass a and get a life.

  4. Maybe you should drink five hr energy then hope to get a sense of humor. Judging by your douchiness I doubt it but I’ll wish you the best. Btw he wasn’t really holding fire at the end, guess that one slipped by you.


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