Some Think Midgets Aren’t Real People, I Suggest Fatsos

Monday was by far one of the worst days of my life. From waking up 30 minutes before I had to leave for the doctors, to driving an hour and a half to Hartford with a female behind the wheel, to being cussed at by a team of physicians, to finding out a woman was responsible for valeting my car. It was total torment. 24 hours of torment. Besides one moment of sunshine.

While sitting in the hospital waiting room I began explaining fashion to Sandra. Tried letting her know that bell bottoms were out of style. Nobody wears elephant pants anymore. She disagreed. Said she fat people wear bell bottoms. I asked her her definition of fat- she basically answered with herself. I laughed and started to explain that Roseanne Barr and Rosie O’Donnell were fat. Even Oprah. That they couldn’t be caught wearing skinnys or straights because people would throw up.

I then got to talking about how I dislike fatsos and how they deserve nothing in life. She asked how she raised such a mean child, how she helps and likes everyone. Even went as far as to say she saw her first midget the other day and wanted to help him out. I at this point become real interested. I asked, “help out how?” She said, “he was driving a real big truck, had a bag in one hand and a drink in the other and I thought, how is he going to get in his truck?” I replied, “because his hands were full?” She goes “no, because he wasn’t tall enough.”

I tried telling her that he’d use the step to get up, like he does every time. Or that he’d pull himself up with his arms. But she didn’t listen. Kept comparing him to a 3-year-old. Like he needed to be picked up and placed in a booster seat. It’s like she thinks they all belong in Oz or at the Chocolate Factory. That they can’t function in real life. Like because he’s a midget he can’t drive a truck. That all midgets must drive matchbox cars like Volkswagen Beetles.

Now I can see if she would’ve said fat people should pay more for a plane ticket. Or that fatsos smell like bacon and cheese. Or even that the government should force them to exercise, and eat and drink nothing but water until they hit their ideal body weight. None of this filing for disability so they can get handicap stickers. But somehow I’m the asshole of the family because I think midgets are fine but being fat in sinister.


Here are some of the best fatso images I found via Google..


One thought on “Some Think Midgets Aren’t Real People, I Suggest Fatsos

  1. Pingback: 11-Year-Old Is Deemed A Basketball Prodigy Because Everyone Refuses To Play Defense | Water Cooler Talk


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