Yesterday I headed to my usual doctors appointment. Valet parked my car- because I’m a boss, and headed up to the 2nd floor to begin to hear the typical blah blah blah, Brian you suck statements. That’s not the story though. The story begins when I walk out to pick up the car. See, when the driver opened the door and got out I was in disbelief. The God damn valet had hired a chick to park and drop off cars. A GOD DAMN CHICK! Yeah. Apparently Hartford Hospital Valet isn’t on top of their science. Everyone knows chicks can’t drive well. Danica Patrick is a perfect example. Broad crashes during every race. EVERY race. Hiring a female valet is like hiring the blind to watch your kids, or having the deaf become a telemarketer. It makes no sense.
At first I didn’t know whether to go question the guy at the desk about whether my car had been stolen, or if I should have to tip her more for getting my car out of the parking lot without making it look like the junkyard had just wrestled it. I decided on giving her the ticket and tipping nothing. I wasn’t going to get her in trouble for potentially stealing the automobile, I mean she brought it back, but then again, in case she did steal it I wasn’t tipping her for that. Bitch stole the car! Plus, she lives in America, she has to get used to making less than her male counterparts. That’s a part of life here. Yes, you have rights and you can do the same jobs, yadda, yadda yadda, but no you will not make a $1 for every male $1. You will make .75 to every male $1, and you will like it. Equality! Viva La America!