MSN – The shirts at Shawnee High School in New Jersey say it all: Fear the Tan. They’re a tribute to senior Josh Borrelli, who averages close to 20 points a game for the Renegades, but never gets to celebrate victories with his teammates because he has his own personal overtime — at a tanning salon. Borrelli has an ultra-rare autoimmune disorder called Mucha-Habermann (he was the only person in America with it when he was diagnosed), which causes rashes and skin lesions that ultraviolet treatments can control, but only if he adheres to a strict daily schedule. Borrelli is having a stellar senior season, and if the disease can’t stop him, what chance do opponents have?
This might be the greatest disease I’ve ever heard of. No joke there. I’m a firm believer that everyone looks better with a tan. No doubt about it. I tan strictly for the vain fulfillment. I refuse to look deathly. And now I hear that this dude gets to tan as a health treatment? That’s your big dilemma? Being able to look tan for the rest of your life? You serious, bro? I’m stuck taking 30 pills a day, doing 2 hours of aerosols, eating like 5 meals a day, and drinking 3,600 calories of weight gainers. All to just live. Then all this guy has to do is lay down and relax for 20 minutes a day while catching up on some serious vitamin D. Jeally like a mafucker, I am. Quit your bitching about not being able to celebrate with your teammates. Tell them you’ll meet them in 30, or tan before the game, brah. Stop making a mountain out of a god damn mole hill.
Not that tan for a dude who lives under ultraviolet light. Kind of depressing if you ask me. I expected better, Josh. Can’t be taking your health lightly, like that. No pun intended.