Hope Everyone Has A Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Or Whatever Else You Celebrate!


Water Cooler Talk is closing up for the holiday tonight until Wednesday morning. At least for the most part, unless something crazy happens which requires an opinion by yours truly. Anyway, my Christmas list has one thing on it and if I don’t wake up with it under my tree, or on my couch, or even better, in my bed, then this year will have been a waste. The Mayans might as well have taken us Friday. Don’t give me clothes, or gift cards, or movies, or whatever else is found to be acceptable for a 25-year-old male. Nope, the only thing I want Tuesday is this…

Any red blooded males who disagrees, we can’t be friends and personally, I don’t even want to know you. As far as I’m concerned you play for the other team. Look how innocent she looks wrapped up in the box and practicing jumping out to me? That smile is priceless. Mel is so hot right now. Like surface of the sun hot. It’s official that Filipina, Spanish, Puertorican, Italian and Brazilian all mixed together make the ultimate Grade A. If I could meet Kris Kringle tonight, I wouldn’t wish for a dad, or a house, or a little brother like Susan Walker did in Miracle on 34th Street. No. I’d wish 100% for Melanie Iglesias. I’d continue living with my mom, in my shitty apartment, with my only sibling, my sister. Melanie would trump all that. Plus, who’s to say she doesn’t have me move in with her? Then I’m killing 2 birds with 1 stone. Getting my fireball girlfriend and a sweet, humble abode. Tuesday is either going to be the greatest day of my life, or its going to be day 1 of my family arranging my funeral.

Send The Sports Reporter your holiday prayers for a Miracle on Cleveland Street!

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