Breaking News: Kobe Bryant Fires Mike Brown


 

 

If looks could fire, Mike Brown was jobless after Wednesday night. Kobe Bryant just giving him the “what the fuck is wrong with you, bro? How’d you even get this job? You are the dumbest motherfucker I know, and I once played with Kwame Brown” look. You don’t want to mess with the Black Mamba. The guy is just ruthless.

Thursday Jerry Buss announced that the team was behind Mike Brown, then early Friday morning the feeling was no longer the same. No doubt Kobe went to the Buss’ home after Jerry’s comments and said, “look here, Jer, I ain’t playing for this college coach no more. He’s got us running the fuckin’ Princeton offense. THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ PRINCETON OFFENSE! When’s the last time Princeton was good?” To where Jerry replied, “let me get a hold of Phil and see if he’s available to come back.”

Now, The Sports Reporter is going on record as saying there’s no chance Phil doesn’t return. I’m guessing that’s the only reason Brown was fired. Jerry Buss got a hold of Phil, Phil said he was interested and that they could talk contract as soon as Mike was let go. So with that said, Buss wasted no time. Probably fired Brown as soon as the conversation with Philly was over. Just called his cell at 3am, was like, uhh its not working out between us anymore. Its not you, its the team. It just doesnt fit your style. Then Kobe probably got on the phone and was like, “Ahhhhhhh, told ya I had pull, bitch! Enjoy unemployment.”

I mean, Lebron didn’t have pull like that. He suffered for years with Mike Brown as his coach. Couldn’t get rid of him. He just had to suck it up, drop 50 a night and never win a title because he didn’t have a coach that knew how to coach. Kobe didn’t even give him a full season. 66 games last year and 5 games this year. And the only reason he made it 5 more games this year was because Kobe gave him a break and said, “let us get Nash and Dwight and I’ll give you another chance” Then 5 games in and a 1-4 record and Kobe pulled the plug saying, “If you can’t coach an all star team, you can’t coach any team.” The Black Mamba is just gangsta like that.

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