Is This The Most Useless Pet In The World?


ABC – In a world where everything seems to keep getting supersized, man’s best friend keeps getting smaller. First there was Beyonce, the tiny pup who fit in a tablespoon at her birth in March and at two weeks old was just the size of an iPhone. Then there was Milly, the pint-sized Chihuahua from Puerto Rico who had to be fed with an eyedropper when she was born in January and at stood just 3 inches tall at three months. Now meet Meysi, a tiny Terrier from Poland who weighed just 1.58 ounces at her birth three months ago.

 

Is this the most useless pet in the world? Just look at it. I mean really take it in. Its the size of a god damn nail polish bottle. Fuck Paris Hilton and the trend she started. Can anyone tell me the point in having a dog the size of a nail polish bottle? Or one who can fit in a tablespoon? My sister has a cat who’s roughly 23lbs and a good 3ft long if you include his tail. He’s an absolute beast. Now I hate cats, but I hate small dogs more. And that’s horrible because I fuckin’ hate hate hate cats. Like I think they shouldn’t even exist. I’m a total cat racist. I’d go Hitler on their asses if I could. But I love dogs. Unless they remind of a small cat. Which lately, they all do. I mean, I cant even go to my buddy’s house without getting yapped at by this mutt…

With all due respect, Aim, your dog is lucky it hasn’t been taken away by some eagle/hawk who’s looking for food. Its constant battle of Brian vs The Rats. They seem to know my feelings towards them right from the start, and they work hard to push my buttons. I’m always in the mood to punt them, Steve Weatherford style. But then their owners get to crying and whatnot, yacking about how their like children to them and would I punt their son or daughter if it were the case. To which I reply, well if your son or daughter was barking at me, nipping at my ankles and trying to steal food off my plate, then yes, yes I’d punt your child. Homie don’t play that game. Trade your rats in at the nearest kennel and get yourselves a real dog. One that ways over 70lbs and actually scares intruders, not just nags and pisses them off like a wife would.

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