The Captain Breaks His Ankle And It’s All Raul Ibanez’s Fault

Once again the Yankees entered the 9th inning needing to make up a deficit. Wednesday night Raul Ibanez rescued the Bombers by hitting a game-tying home run in the 9th and a game-winner in the 12th. And on Saturday night he came through again. Well, almost. See the Yankees were down 4-0 when Ichiro hit a 2-run bomb to right field making the score 4-2. Then Tex makes it to 2nd, there are 2 outs, and Ibanez is down 2 strikes. Game’s over, right? Not if Raul has anything to do with it. He turns on a pitch and… wham bam, that bad boy is flying over the right field wall. Game tied. But the story doesn’t stop there. The 12th-inning comes along, top of the 12th to be exact, and a grounder comes Jeter’s way. He runs left, dives for the ball, does a barrel roll and flips the ball Cano’s way. Only problem is no one was headed to 2nd. The bases were empty. No, Jeter flipped the ball because he was riving in pain and couldn’t make it to his feet to throw to 1st. See, when he ran and attempted to dive, his left foot landed awkwardly and rice krispie it went. Snap, crackle, and pop. Jeter’s only comment to Girardi when he came out to help him off the field, “don’t carry me out of here.” The Captain refuses to look weak at any time. He absolutely refuses it. He’ll even dive into the bleachers and bust up his face to protect his image. Only athlete I know that protects his rep at all times, but doesn’t do it in a dickhead, scumbag way. That’s just how he rolls. So Derek put his arms around his trainer’s and Girardi’s shoulders and limped to the dugout. Just like The Bachelor of New York should.


(Peep Girardi trying to cop an ass feel from Jete’s. Everybody wants a piece of D.J)

The moral of this story? If New York had just accepted defeat in the 9th, or if Raul wasn’t trying to upstage A-Rod at every point in hopes to steal his spot in the 3-hole, The Captain wouldn’t have fractured his ankle. That’s right. The game would have ended in the 9th. New York would have been down 1-0 in the series and Jeter could have gone home, phoned one of his jump offs, and sent her on her marry way tomorrow morning with one of his custom made gift baskets. Then he could have watched the Jets fumble and bumble their way through the Colts, and the Giants show up San Fran in Candlestick once again. Instead, the Yankees are still down 1-0, but Jeter is now out for the playoffs/season, and now needs to hire a nurse to care for him for the next 3 plus months. However, knowing New York’s Most Eligible Bachelor, he’ll probably get a Grade A Prime nurse who’s in her mid 20’s, wife her for the next few months, and then send her on her marry way around February time with about 35 gift baskets. Yup. D.J. does it big time. No. Doubt. About. It.


You can just tell by the reactions of Gardner, Cano, and Chavez that their season had just ended. Jeter just laying in the base path is never a good sign for Pinstripe Nation. I’m guessing that’s Jeter’s go to move with Hannah Davis. Get on top, elbows down, and grind baby, grind.



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