Achievement Award for Bacteriological Fuckatitis


 

My mom is always harping on me, “Clean your fucking room!”, “Your dirty dishes don’t go in the sink, asshole. They go in the dish washer.”, “Why the fuck are all these lights on for?!”, “Get you fucking laundry out of the washer/dryer so the rest of the house can use it.” Yup, my mom loves the word fuck, probably why I love it so much. And she loves, loves, loves to throw disses/remarks my way. I sometimes feel her day isn’t complete unless she’s put my life down. But I accept it. Most of the time I look forward to it. I mean, Im a hassler myself. I love the verbal warfare. She may not be as good at the game as I am, but at least she’s will to try. And that’s all I ask. So when she harasses me about cleaning, cooking, or doing laundry, I simply reply, “mom, Im a male. You’re lucky the dishes made it to the sink and that my clothes are in the washer/dryer and not in a ball in your laundry room.” She then proceeds to call me a male chauvinist¬†pig. Which I then reply, “I didn’t make the rules I just follow them. Blame society.” I then get prosecuted for an hour and I don’t get dinner for 2-3 days until I apologize. All in the life of being a male I assume.

 

However, you can bet your first child’s college tuition, your divorced wife’s alimony, or this month’s welfare check that I’ll be showing her this and letting her know that until I can get a fucking achievement award, I wont be participating in any of the household responsibilities. If you cant recognize my outstanding participation, then Im not recognizing your shitty requests. Be a fucking professional or get the fuck out of my face.

Advertisements

Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s