Gymnast Over-Jumps Mat, Pain Angel-ing Herself Into A Concussion

“If she sticks this one she’ll win the gold for sure, Frank.” “I dont know, Stan. The level of difficulty is astonishing, but the mat is 30 feet long and 15 feet wide. I see it hard for her not to land this.” “We’ll just have to see. It looks like they’re starting now…” ….. “And there she goes… 2 backflips, a knee tuck, and…. oh. my. god. Did you see that, Frank?” “I sure did, Stan. She’s definitely getting a point deduction for that landing.”

On to some real shit, how about that one lady kneeling behind the mat? She basically had the fair catch on, reaching out her arm like, “I got her.. I got her.. I got.. nope. Clear over my head…” Wham!!! (gymnast’s head bouncing off hard rubber). I swear I saw her head dribble 3 times in a row. Thats more dribbling that you see in the NBA. Then the whole audience let out a moan like she’d been shot dead. Nope again. Just a simple pain angel. I don’t see a call from Béla Károlyi in the future.



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