Because Hallmark Sucks… End Of Story.


Halloween is coming up. So is Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve, and New Years. That means cards, cards, cards, and more cards. And who wants to drive to the nearest Hallmark just to read a bunch of shitty, “Merry Christmas Mom/Dad, You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Thanks for all you do all year. Merry Christmas!” No, that shit’s fake. No one feels like that. We just say it because Hallmark tells us to. Because its a holiday. Well Hallmark sucks. Leaving Greetings & Beatings to changing the game. It’s bringing real life into the greeting card game. Don’t believe me? Head on over to the site. If you don’t laugh your ass off and want to buy a card for every occasion you’re either an ancestor of Hitler, a child rapist, or your favorite actress is Lindsay Lohan. Either way, you’re a horrible person who enjoys terrorism so you should probably keep going to Hallmark. Greetings and Beatings only deals with honest, good-hearted, generous members of the community. It’s product is proof.

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