Kyle Williams Has Fumblitis, But Is Cured By A Letter From A 7-Year-Old Boy


 

Huffington Post – As the Niners lost in memorably disheartening fashion to the New York Giants in the NFC Champions game last year, Owen became inconsolable. He was crying, saying of Kyle Williams, with the distinct sobs of a seven-year-old between each word, “But… why… did he… have to… fumble? Trying to get his son to stop crying, his father asked him, “If you feel this way, how sad do you think Kyle Williams is?” Owen paused a second, then asked his dad, “Can I write him a letter to make him feel better?” And from that, an old-fashioned letter — the ultimate anti-Twitter, the un-social media — was born.

 

The letter reads:

“Dear Mr. Williams:

We just watched the Playoff game. I feel really bad for you but I wanted to tell you that you had a great season. You sould be very proud, so I wanted to say thank you.

I am your #1 FAN!

Owen Shure
Los Angeles, CA

P.S. Your awsome”

Alright, so this is somewhat old news and I know this is a feel good story and all, but I have some things to point out that were glaring obvious signs that this kid is a sucker. One, he was able to forgive a man that fumbled twice within 11 minutes, costing his team a game and shot at the Super Bowl. I still haven’t forgiven Trey Junkin for botching a field goal snap against San Francisco and that shit happened 10 years ago. And the Giants have won 2 Super Bowls since then. Second, it’s blatantly obvious that this was his dad’s idea. I’m 99.8% sure of that. Just a way of his dad teaching his kid how not to be competitive. Another example of the Pussification of America. Third, no one is a fan of Kyle Williams, with or without him fumbling, so by declaring yourself his “#1 fan”, it’s a bit over the top. Also, if he’s that much of a fan why does he wear a Frank Gore jersey and refer to Alex Smith as Alex, saying “they’re friends.” He never once mentioned Kyle Williams until he was balling uncontrollably as Lawrence Tynes booted a game-winner through the uprights. Fourth, why the fuck didn’t anyone spell check this kid’s letter or at least help him write it? I read through it once and was disgusted. He used the wrong type of “your, you’re” and he failed to spell “awesome” correctly. Now I know he’s 7, but I’m pretty sure mommy and/or daddy could have lent him a hand with the English language. However, with all that said, I commend this kid for not being a doucher like most of the Twitterverse is. Tweets like, “@KyleWilliams_10 you should jump off the golden gate bridge for that one”, “@KyleWilliams_10 HOPE U RUN n2 A BULLET DA WAY U RAN INTO DAT BALL…”, “Jim Harbaugh, please give @KyleWilliams_10 the game ball. And make sure it explodes when he gets in his car.”, or “@KyleWilliams_10. I hope you, you’re wife, kids and family die, you deserve it.”  are ridiculous. These people need to be isolated in an empty, noiseless room for over an hour. Yeah, I’ll take the sissy 7-year-old for the win, Alex.

 

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