No redneck, hillbilly is ever going to win a pageant contest. Never mind having her family be as disgustingly redneck as they are. Butta, sketti, and ketchup. Butta, sketti and ketchup. Sounds like the redneck remix to Chicken Noodle Soup, Chicken Noodle Soup, With a Soda on the Side. NBC needs to call up the Boo Boo family and dedicate an entire Biggest Loser season to only them. My money is on Lauryn, Jessica or Anna. Honey Boo Boo just ain’t big enough to trigger winning numbers, the dad is your typical hillbilly sized dude, and Alana, well the gargoyle looking broad is too far gone. Too much butta in her blood stream. Too much sketti shooting up her cholesterol and blood sugar. And too much ugly to have any significant weight loss. Na, she’ll just sit in her room mowing down butter like candy bars, Ramen Noodle packets like rice krispie treats, and drinking bacon grease like its iced tea. Plus everyone knows farting is the clear cut way to go about losing weight. All these folk out there wasting money on dieting plans, P90x, and Sensa.
My favorite line through out the whole piece was, “Its been a long time since I had that roadkill in my belly.” #ClassicAlana