You Might Be A Redneck…


Tell me this doesn’t look like Uncle Billy. You know the dude. Your mom’s sketched out older brother. The dude who turned 16 when your mom was 3. He decided to hall ass to the South, visit every state from West Virginia, to Alabama, to Texas. He said that he needed a change of culture, wanted to experience the life of his ancestors. But really he’s just an alcoholic redneck who hates everything non white- well except for his teeth- he just plucks those bad boys out. He loves to play a lil banjo, blow on the jug, make some moonshine with the buddies, go mudding and carry his shotgun wherever he goes. And you know without a doubt that on every Sunday he’ll be front and center on his lawn chair watching NASCAR, drinking a Bud heavy. “Look at dem boys go!” So when it came down to selecting who was going to win the Super Bowl, did you really think he’d pick the team whose city has one of the largest ethnic population? Hell no. That dude looks like he bleeds for the Confederate flag. Like if the Civil War was going right now, he’d be front and center standing next to General Robert E. Lee, fighting for the South’s side. Of course it’d be in some Wrangler jeans, a flannel with the sleeves cut off, and a whatever raggedy ass hat he had lying around that he got for $3 down there at the Walllllll-Mart.

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