Hockey Prodigy


Mommy and daddy are about to get paaaaiiiiiidddddd. If it wasn’t bad enough that little Oliver was tearing up the ice at 9, he’s now 11 and looks even better. Dude was just showing off. Oh let me go between my legs, skate with the puck behind me, then I’ll pick that bitch up, carry it all the way to the goal and okey doke the goalie, making him look like he’s 11 years old. Well you know what Oliver, ya ain’t that sweet. The Sports Reporter was doing that shit at 4 years old. My mom has tons of game film of me and the cousins down by the pond. I was so nice that even my uncles wanted a piece of the action. Uncle Jimmy is still scared to this day. I straight up tossed that mofo right off the pond. We now call him Crosby because 20 years later, he’s still have concussion like symptoms. And if it weren’t for that freak accident the day I learned how to tried without training wheels, I’d probably be NHL bound. The memories still haunt me. I can’t even ride a bike to this day. I see kids riding through parks all happy with their parents and their pets dogs, and I automatically become Big Daddy; hiding behind bushes, throwing sticks through their spokes. Fuckin’ laugh now bitch. How’s road rash feel.

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